I don’t know what it is, but something is not right. I guess nature doesn’t like me. Nature is not yet done playing with me. I am happy one moment and the very next moment I am made to realize that I have no control over my destiny.
This one disturbing dream I had last night, after which I was not able to sleep at all. From last two days, I am awake because I am afraid I may see this dream again.
Like most of the dreams, I don’t know where this dream start.
There is a letter on the desk. The subject line says “Resignation”. Then My Girl is standing talking to someone, maybe her manager. She resigned from her job. There was no expression on her face. But wait I thought that she liked her job. Then why is she resigning from the job? I guess, I will never know.
I am in her city now. I went straight to her home. Nobody was home. There was a lock. She has left. I asked the neighbours. They have no idea that where she went. It felt like I have been hit by a tsunami.
How and where she can go? Why will she just disappear like that? All those questions were repeating themselves in my mind. I didn’t know what to do. I started searching for her. I searched everywhere that I can think of. She was nowhere to be found. I have lost her once again. I felt like crying but I had no time for that. I had to continue searching.
I was not able to find her, and I blacked out. When I woke up from the dream, I was all sweaty. My throat was dry and tear rolling down my eyes.
I feel like I have nobody. Nobody to share what I feel. Nobody to tell. Nobody to share my insecurities. My Girl was perfect. She would hear all that I have to say. She never judged me. She is my pillar.
I feel everybody around me judge me all the time. If I cry, my friends get scared. If I am sad they ask too many questions.
I am in no state to talk right now. Feeling lonely. I think I am used to being lonely. But first, I have to figure out what this dream means.
Can’t sleep, can’t rest. Don’t know when I will get peace?