From the morning itself, I had that smile on my face. I don’t know why, but I was happy. Maybe because of nothing or maybe because of what was about to happen in near future.
It was a bright Sunday morning. I was resting on my couch listening to some soft music. Suddenly the door bell rang. I was feeling too lazy to get up and open the door. The doorbell rang again. I was expecting nobody. But still somehow I pull my lazy butt and opened the door.
I was amazed, surprised, happy. I was experiencing all those emotions at the same time.
She was standing right there. In an orange saree. Very light makeup. Hairs did properly, with a red streak of hair just falling over on her eyes. That perfect dimple she had when she smiled. She was smiling seeing me.
I wanted to say “Hi”. But all I could mutter was “WOW”.
Me : How are you?
Oh! I didn’t tell who was at my door. It was My Girl. I don’t know what was the reason of her visit. But she was there to meet me 🙂
My Girl : Hey! I am fine. How are you?
Me : I am good.
Her eyes just glanced into my apartment.
MG : Will you not invite me inside?
Me : Oh! I am sorry. Please come in.
After she came in, got settled on the couch. I straight away went to the kitchen to prepare some tea and get some snacks. I prepared the tea just the way she likes. 2 teaspoons of sugar, 1/2 teaspoon tea. The equal quantity of water and milk.
I served the tea and snacks. She was looking at my apartment. I don’t intend to brag but it is rather clean for a bachelor.
Me : So what’s up? You really surprised me.
MG : Yeah. I was in town. So I thought of visiting you.
I don’t know what to say. I wanted to say, ask so many things in that one moment. I wanted to tell her about my start up. I wanted to tell her how much I love her. I wanted to fight with her for leaving me just like that. I wanted to just hug her in that very moment and never let her go. But all I could say was “Ok”.
While she was sipping the tea she talked about her sister, who was pregnant. Her brother got a new job. And something about her cousins. Yes, she has an annoying number of cousins.
After she finished the tea, suddenly she got up and said: “I better get going”.
I just wanted to stop her and request her not to leave. But all I could manage was a goodbye wave. And just like out of the blue she came and just like that she left. I don’t know the meaning of this visit, but I am happy as I could see her once more.
It was a meeting of many unsaid words and much-unexpressed feelings.
“Why do you want this job?”. I was day dreaming again and this question from the interviewer startled me. Back to reality.
Me : I want to be a part of the hospitality industry. I have heard a lot about this hotel and this place and I can see myself in a good position in this hotel after next 5 years.
The interviewer looked at me like he is scanning me. In my mind I thought, has he been able to guess that I have memorized that answer just for this question only.
Second Interviewer : I see that you have 3 years of work experience in IT industry, then why you want to join the hospitality industry?
I am not prepared for this question. “I want to take care of people”, I murmured.
Second Interviewer : What?
I said, “I love cooking and want to explore new things in life”. I continued in the same vein “Well, I like Dubai and as it is a new place I want to start fresh. I don’t want to continue in IT industry”. Yes, I was in Dubai giving an interview.
First Interviewer : You have been to onsite once in your short IT career. I assume you were good. Then why you want to change your field. In my mind, I was like how many more questions will they ask. Then I realized I am sitting in an interview.
Politely I said, ” I may be good in computer and stuff but I want to be best in the hospitality industry”. Both the interviewer looked impressed with the answer. It eased my nerves. I was feeling more comfortable.
After a few more easy questions comes one big daunting question.
First Interviewer : “But, why should we give you this job? For this industry, you don’t have any prior experience and we have more qualified candidates sitting outside waiting for their turn”
I was completely caught off guard there. Sweating a little. I raised my hands towards the glass of water. I was sipping water slowly, trying to come up with a quirky answer.
With a little hesitation in my voice, I said: “Can I tell a story here?”
Both the interviewer looked at each other and nodded in unison.
Me : Once I was traveling from London to Delhi. I was terribly missing my family and home, and I was crying a bit. A gentleman saw it. He came to me. Asked me if I was fine. I nodded. He gave me chocolate to eat and asked me not to worry. He advised me everything will be alright.
I continued with my story “This gesture touched my heart. I decided that I will never cry again and will make other people smile. And I think, I can achieve that objective in the hospitality industry”.
I still don’t know how I came up with this answer but the interviewers were surely impresssed. After few more gruelling questions they asked me to wait outside. I was sitting nervously outside, waiting for the results and for other candidates to finish their interview. After a while, both the interviewer came outside and announced that the successful candidate was “Me”. What? How? I was so excited. I was on cloud nine. I patted on my back and said to myself “Mission accomplished”.
Dubai here I come.
P.S – I was wanting this job because two days back, through a common friend I got to know that My Girl has left her job in India and shifted to Dubai. 🙂
I don’t know what it is, but something is not right. I guess nature doesn’t like me. Nature is not yet done playing with me. I am happy one moment and the very next moment I am made to realize that I have no control over my destiny.
This one disturbing dream I had last night, after which I was not able to sleep at all. From last two days, I am awake because I am afraid I may see this dream again.
Like most of the dreams, I don’t know where this dream start.
There is a letter on the desk. The subject line says “Resignation”. Then My Girl is standing talking to someone, maybe her manager. She resigned from her job. There was no expression on her face. But wait I thought that she liked her job. Then why is she resigning from the job? I guess, I will never know.
I am in her city now. I went straight to her home. Nobody was home. There was a lock. She has left. I asked the neighbours. They have no idea that where she went. It felt like I have been hit by a tsunami.
How and where she can go? Why will she just disappear like that? All those questions were repeating themselves in my mind. I didn’t know what to do. I started searching for her. I searched everywhere that I can think of. She was nowhere to be found. I have lost her once again. I felt like crying but I had no time for that. I had to continue searching.
I was not able to find her, and I blacked out. When I woke up from the dream, I was all sweaty. My throat was dry and tear rolling down my eyes.
I feel like I have nobody. Nobody to share what I feel. Nobody to tell. Nobody to share my insecurities. My Girl was perfect. She would hear all that I have to say. She never judged me. She is my pillar.
I feel everybody around me judge me all the time. If I cry, my friends get scared. If I am sad they ask too many questions.
I am in no state to talk right now. Feeling lonely. I think I am used to being lonely. But first, I have to figure out what this dream means.
Can’t sleep, can’t rest. Don’t know when I will get peace?
I was busy doing some daily stuff. A voice broke the silence. It was the one of my junior from college.
He was the same junior that wrote me that letter, which I shared in the last blog. He had travelled all the way from Varanasi to Delhi to come and meet me. I prepared some tea and sandwich for him and we started chatting. He was telling some old college stories, some old college jokes. Then suddenly he asked something and I was startled.
He jokingly asked me “Sir, what would be the most painful way to die? To take one’s own life?”
What is the most painful way to die? I thought to myself the answer would be easy, but believe me, when I say it is not at all easy.
My first answer was sleeping pills. Right, what would be painful than poison? Eat and die. But as it turns out it is not easy. An overdose of sleeping pills will likely cause massive shock and pain because your heart will fail before the drug’s sedative effects take hold. Your body is also likely to throw up the poison, leaving you with enough of the drug to kill you, but not enough to do so quickly. Then you will have a drawn out death via liver or kidney failure.
My second answer would have been shooting you in the head, but as guns are not readily available you can use a knife to cut any significant vein or artery. But as it turns it is not easy as well. Five percent of those shot in the head will survive while a large portion of the remaining 95% doesn’t die instantly. Instead, they will slowly and painfully bleed out or die of other painful complications. Theoretically, it sounds good. But practically, a bullet or knife is not a good way to die.
My third answer would be drowning in the water. But as it turns out it was also a myth. Studies show humans are incapable of taking their own life. A drowning victim will hold their breath for as long as they can once submerge and this will be between 30 and 90 seconds. At this point, they inhale water, cough, splutter, and inhale some more. The water within the lungs prevents gas exchange and makes the airway seal shut. You will feel burning and tear in your chest before losing consciousness, something that can be very painful.
Then after very long and careful thought I concluded that a heartbreak is the most painful way to die. The victim dies slowly. First, his confidence gets shattered. He starts behaving undecided, unsure. Then slowly his pride also dies, fade and become a pale shadow of his bright past. At this stage, all the relatives also start leaving as nobody want to be a man who doesn’t know what to do. His personal life becomes zero. This also starts affecting his professional space. Slowly and surely he is deserted and lonely and suffocated. This way he is dying every day slowly and slowly. And surely one day the pain become so humongous that he chooses one of the above ways to end life and end the pain.
So fall in Love and get a heart break. That is the most painful way to die.
Personally, I don’t support someone taking their own life. If you start to truly contemplate suicide, talk to a loved one or get support.
But I this what I thought after listening to his question. though I didn’t reply.
I don’t know why, but I get this dream way too often. Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something.
Like most of the dreams, I don’t know where this one starts.
I and My Girl are walking hand in hand. I don’t recognize which place or city we are in, but it has to be somewhere down in south India as I don’t know what is written on the billboards of the shops around. There are not many people around us, so it is definitely a weekday. We are one happy couple, talking endlessly. We are wondering in the streets, looking into each others eyes and laughing and making beautiful plans for the future.
We are having a conversation, on how many kids we are going to have.
Me: You know, I always wanted 11 kids.
My Girl: (With an expression of shock on face)What? 11 kids. No way.
Me: But why? We will have our own cricket team. Our kids will never feel alone and we grow old we have lots of grandchildren to play with.
MG: Are you mad or what? No way we are having 11 kids. 1 will be enough.
After lots of chatting and friendly negotiations, we settled on 2 kids. I am happy, she is happy. We both are enjoying this beautiful phase after marriage. Our honeymoon is continuing. I looked at her, she looked at me and then blushed away. We continue to walk holding each other’s hand.
I stopped. I made a hand gesture to my girl to wait. I am standing facing her and walking backwards so that I can make hero style pose to tell my girl out loud that how much I love her. I didn’t realize that the pavement has ended and I was standing on the road. As I was about to make a pose, a big truck comes out of nowhere and hits me. I am sub-conscious, I can hear her shouting my name and calling out people for help.
On the hospital table, I woke up. But it was only me, my body didn’t get up with me. I think I am dead. I woke and started searching for my girl. There she is sitting in the hospital hallway. Her clothes stained in blood, my blood. She is crying. I ran towards her, but I can’t touch her. She is still crying. Doctor came in, looked at her with a heavy face.
He said something in her ears and she started crying even more. Probably he told her about my demise. She is crying and I can’t see that beautiful face in tears.
And suddenly I woke up from my dream. I am sweating profusely, out of breath and worried. Wondering what does this dream means. What does future hold for both of us?
I get this dream a lot. Can anyone tell, why my soul is not at peace?
I was waiting. I was waiting for the flight to land, constantly toggling between the aircraft’s flight path and some masala Bollywood movie. I just wanted the flight to land at the Kempegowda International Airport as soon as possible. I had to wait for 3 months for this moment to arrive and now I could not wait another 3 minutes. The flight landed and I had to wait for everyone else to de-board the flight as I was sitting in the last seat of the aircraft.
I rushed down and made a dash towards the immigration check desk, there was a queue and again I had to wait for my turn. I was getting impatient. My turn came and immigration officer looked at me and I smiled back, he checked my passport and started filling some form in his computer. Meanwhile, I was busy planning that how will I meet her?, What will I say when I will meet her, immigration officer shouted my name and my dream broke. He handed the passport and I again made a dash towards exit. Then I remember I had to change clothes. I had planned that I will meet her in a suit and tie. The attire was kept at the top of my luggage. I went to wash room. The wait to meet her was getting longer and longer. I changed hurriedly, but then I realized I had to make a knot of my tie. I cursed my self, but then I had to be in a tie and suit when I meet her for the first time. I make that knot, did the final checks and then my phone rang.
I knew it was her, she was also waiting for me outside the Airport. She asked “Where are you? Your flight landed quite a while back”. I can’t tell her that I was getting dressed to meet her. I said “I am just waiting for my luggage and will come out of Airport in another 5 mins”.
Then I had to rush. I was really getting impatient now. I went to collect my luggage. And bags kept on rolling in front of my eyes but my bag didn’t arrive. I waited and waited and my bag was nowhere to be seen. Seeing me getting impatient one of the airport staff member arrived. He asked “How may I help you sir?”. I explained him my situation and he said “Sir this section is for Domestic flights your bag would be on next conveyor belt which is for International passengers”. I felt so dumb. I ran towards that conveyor belt and bingo there was my luggage. I collected the trolley and put my luggage on it and started following the exit signs.
I came out, my eyes were searching my girl. I didn’t knew how will I react when I will meet her for the first time. I was searching for her, and there she was. Jumping with joy waving at me and my heart skipped a beat again. I just wanted to hug her, but the feeling that I was finally meeting her was so surreal that I could only mutter “Please pinch me and if this is a dream let it be over right now” She touched me. my heart was beating so fast.
My wait was finally over.