Its Lonely and it Hurts

It was a Sunday morning. I was lazily lying in my bed, thinking about how to spend the Sunday. Suddenly the door bell rang. I somehow dragged my lazy bosom out of bed and opened the door. It was the postman. He had a letter addressing in my name. I was amazed that in today’s technology-hungry world who is writing letters and that to me.

I put the letter on my dining table and went into the kitchen to prepare some tea and breakfast for myself. I was having my breakfast and letter was right in front of my eyes. I could not resist myself. I had to open the letter. I broke the seal and opened the letter and was shell-shocked after reading the complete letter.

This is what were the contents of the letter (raw and unedited).

Yes, it’s lonely and it hurts like hell. I know I am not supposed to say all this, but you are not talking to me and I don’t know whom else I should talk to. So I am writing my feelings out.

I know it was not supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be happy and enjoying my life with you. But currently, without you my life is hell. Without you, there is no purpose in my life. I don’t feel like doing anything because there is no one to share my feelings. There is no one to whom I can turn and tell that I have done this and this thing today. I eat rice for lunch and had pizza for dinner. There is no one to whom I can share my joys and sorrows. So when there is no one to tell anything, then I don’t feel like doing anything.

Earlier I used to come back home and talk to you for hours. I had a reason to come back home. Now I don’t feel like coming back home. And no I am not crying like a bitch while writing this thing. I am all right. I am fine.

After meeting you, knowing you. All I wanted to do was, to come back to you every day after work. Talk to you, help you and stay with you for the rest of my life.

I don’t know what future beholds for both of us. But I know one thing for sure that I won’t be able to survive without you. I don’t want to admit, but I am way too drunk right now so I am confessing that I have even tried to take my life. End this pain. End this misery. But I am such a coward that I was not able to do anything with a knife in my hand.

I thought Love was supposed to be the most beautiful feeling in the world. Love was supposed to bring us together. We were meant to be together for the rest of our lives. But the amount of pain I have suffered because of Love, I cannot express in words.

I don’t want to cry right now, but I can’t simply live without you. Please forgive me. Please come back to me. Please!

I know I have hurt you. I know I have broken all my promises. But staying away from you have made me realize that I am incomplete without you. You make me happy. You make me a better man. You complete me.

 

I tried to enquire about the author of the letter. After much inquiry, I found out that it was one of my junior from the college. I cannot reveal the name. But buddy if you are reading this blog then I want to advise you that, I know life can be hard sometimes and it may not seem fair always. But we should not give up. We should just try and hang on till our time comes.

Take care Buddy.

 

Gaurav Gupta

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