Current State

So, have I given up on love? No, but I won’t be the one coming forward with it, chasing you and making all the efforts.

I will just sit pretty and content being single in my joyous zone. If you find me worthy enough, then go ahead and say it to me. But don’t expect me to play the games of hints and silences.

I am done with that circus. You want to be subtle about love? Well, then say – I Love You, at the very least, because nothing less clear will do it for me now.

I am done with the waiting, supposedly romantic, part of love. Just hit me with your love on my face, screaming my name with your blaring tongue, madly in love with me, else – just stay away.

 

Gaurav Gupta

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I am in Depression

I may not realize it, But I am suffering from depression.

Every time someone asks me “How are you?” my response is same “I am fine”, “I am cool”. In reality, there are thousand emotional cyclone whirlwinds that are going inside me.

I wear a mask. A happy mask to show the world that I am a stud. I am a rockstar, that I am a superman. Even my close friends are fooled by that mask. But in reality, I am just me who is drowning without even realizing that soon I will be dead. I will be dead not physically. I will be dead emotionally.

Look at the irony of the situation. I used to be indifferent. Not bothered about anything, living the perfect black and white life. Someday, somebody entered in my life with a tinge of gray and taught me care, compassion, emotion. And now I am living in those memories.

I have a fantasy world where everything happens according to my wish and whims. Everything is perfect in my fantasy world. In the real world, everything is falling apart. The people I care, the people I want in my life are going far away. So far away that even my shadow can’t reach them. I try to assemble some broken pieces of my life, the others just crumble even faster.

I have learned to lie to myself also. So, when I ask myself how am I? The response comes from within. “Everything is fine”. “I am cool”.

I am in depression. I love being in the depression. I love to live in memories until the time my fantasy and my reality are not in sync. I hope that happens before I am emotionally empty.

 

Gaurav Gupta

I want to become a HouseWife

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As the title and the visual in the blog depicts, this is the true state of my mind.

I know this may sound a bit weird, but I want to become a House Wife. I want that when My Girl comes back from office after a hectic day, I ask her “How was your day?”. I ask her if I should make her a coffee or tea. Then after the hot beverage, I should demand a sweet kiss. Then I should serve her hot dinner and I should then tell her about my day and all its events. What all shopping I did, what all cheap bargain I get and all other gossips I heard.

In the night, she should cuddle me. Ask me if I am happy. Wake me up in the middle of the night, start kissing me madly and make hot love with me.

In the morning again, I wake early and make breakfast for her and kiss her goodbye for office.

I want her to take care of me while I can be the homemaker. I dream of my whole life revolving around My Girl. All my happiness, sorrows, dramas should be for her. If I am happy it should be with her. If I am crying, it should be with her. If we are going out for lunch or dinner then she should order for me, pay all the bills as I sit back and relax.

And actually, she should come to my house to ask for my hand from my parents 😛

Wait. If while reading this blog you are thinking I am a crack head, then let me clarify. I am straight,  I am well earning, I like booze and hanging out with my friends. But again as the visual says some days I am so focussed on my career and some other days, I just want to quit it all and bake things.

At the end of the day, all I want is to be happy and spent the rest of my days on Earth with My Girl.

So fellow bloggers and readers please pray for my wish to come true.

P.S – This picture was sent to me by My Girl.

 

Gaurav Gupta