What do I want to do

What do I want to do is lay my head in your lap and sleep like a child. Because with you I feel safe, I feel everything is alright.

What do I want to do is play with hairs for hours. They are perfect just like you.

What do I want to do is lay with you under open sky counting stars and talking my heart out. Because with you I can be myself.

What do I want to do is to know you more. I want to spend rest of my breaths unravelling the mystery that is you.

What do I want to do is not to share you with anyone. I want to spend all my time with you because one life time is not enough.

What do I want to do is live this adventure called life with you. Together Forever. ❤

My Girl, I Love You and I need you. ❤ Please come back.

 

Gaurav Gupta

 

The Day I Saw My Girl

Two years back, on this very day 15th January 2015 I saw My Girl for the very first time. It was a Skype call, business related. There she was. My heart skipped the beat, looking at her. Looking at her beautiful smile.

Today I wanted to write something awesome. Today I wanted to write something brilliant.

Today I wanted to write something that can give my readers goosebumps with perfectly constructed statements.

Today I wanted to write something so fascinating that it takes My Girl to my fantasy world and see what she means to me.

Today I wanted to write something so beautiful that has never been written before.

Today I wanted to write something so imaginative that never has been imagined before.

Today I wanted to write something so sensual that never has been sensed before.

Today I wanted my words to create the magic that My Girl would be lost in them and come back to me.

But right now at this very moment, all I can think is how much I miss her. How badly I want to be with her. How much I Love Her ❤

Happy Second Anniversary for our first Introduction to My Girl.

Stay Happy, Stay Blessed, Stay Smiling.

 

Gaurav Gupta

What’s in the Picture

Drunk, she sends me this picture. 3 AM in the cold wintery night My Girl asks me that what this picture means to me. She told me that this picture means a lot to her.

The only answer I had was that “My Girl, you are texting me, sending me pictures, wanting to talk to me. All this while you are drunk. You are thinking of me while you can’t even stand straight. This means that you Love Me.” I Love You too. I too have drunk texted you so many times because I think of you all the time. Because I miss you all the time. I want to be with you all the time. I want to talk to you all the time.

But instead, I say some random stupid stuff about the shoes, about the wine and everything non-important.

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Last night we had a fight. She said she is going out on a weekend trip with a guy and she can’t tell me who it is. I don’t know what’s going on in her mind. Was she just teasing me or did she actually meant it? I was hurt. How can she expect me to be okay with the fact that she will be roaming around with a guy for the whole weekend? I just want to say to her “My Girl, you are mine and you are mine forever. Nobody can take you away from me.”

I was hurt and in that moment I said something to her which I shouldn’t have said. I wanted to hurt her for hurting me. I know it’s wrong and I feel guilty for it. Sorry, My Girl.

I am so Sorry and I am so in Love with You. I am in Love with you Head over Heels. ❤

P.S – I know that she doesn’t read my blogs, but someday down the line, I want my feelings to reach to her via these blogs. Still waiting for you, My Girl. 🙂

 

Gaurav Gupta

 

Happy New Year

After a spending time for a week, it was time for me to say goodbye. This is the part which I hate the most, saying goodbye. The past week has been fun. We had gone out to dinners, gone out on movies, had a really long drive. We also had our pizza night and then pizza fight. Now it’s time to go back to our life’s.

My Girl has to resume work in her London office and I had to be back in Delhi.

Sitting together in the car, outside the airport. The silence prevails. Neither I or My Girl said anything for a while. The thought of being away from My Girl gripped my mind. There were no words coming out of my mouth.

After a while breaking the silence My Girl said “So?”

Me: So?

MG: Don’t worry, I will be back in a couple of months.

I said “Hmm” and my head just dropped down. My eyes were wet. My Girl reached out, with a gentle touch she uplifts my chin. I could see even her eyes were wet. I was just looking in her eyes. So beautiful, so deep. Like they were trying to assure my sinking heart that everything will be fine. We will be together soon.

I just wanted her to stop me from going. I just wanted her to tell me to stay. I just wanted to drop everything and stay with her. I just didn’t want to leave her.

I wanted to sing a song for her.

Like the season’s first snow, you are falling on my heart.

My heart is melting and my world is changing.

But in that moment when I wanted to just encapture all her beauty all I could faintly murmur “I Love You” ❤

We hugged. I felt both of us were just melting in each other’s embrace. Nothing could separate us. I took a bite of her luscious lips. My Girl kissed back. I didn’t want that moment to end. I just wanted to be in her arms forever.

As the time for my flight drew nearer, My Girl drives us to the dropping point. I picked my luggage and got out of car. I hugged her. I hugged her tight, never wanting to let her go. After some time, I kissed her forehead and said the most difficult goodbye.

I said goodbye with a renewed hope that in few months time she will be back and we will be together again.

I Love You.  I miss You. ❤

 

Gaurav Gupta

 

 

Monster – That I am

Slowly, piece by piece, you gave yourself to me. And I — a monster, dressed with smile — accepted you.

You carried your flaws with grace around me, after all, you believed I outshined them. You felt safe around me. Holding my hand, resting your head on my shoulder, it gave you the comfort you always dreamed of. You let me turn your cold heart warm. And you let me explore those dreamy lips, too, whilst you smiled and breathed heavily. And between all the choices you had, you decided to choose me, after all, I made you not think about any other choice.
What you and I shared, the long talks, the never-ending kisses, exploring our ‘wanderland’, were simple, adorable things. But along the way, somewhere, they meant a world to both of us, and they will be one of the moments that rewind in front of my eyes before I rest in peace.

And I was lucky, you know? To have a forever. To make all those experiences with you.
And I loved you, truly. I did. Maybe, I still do, deep down, but you don’t be bothered, because I am cold, like you. And, I don’t trust love anymore. How can I? It is something that is there one second, alive and spreading happiness and the other… it just fades away. Absent. Gone. Taking away all those happy moments. Happiness.

Being in love with you is to know that I have to cherish our memories, every moment. And knowing, what I’ll with you, it is something I can’t have with anyone.

Maybe you were just a piece of this jigsaw puzzle, I couldn’t understand. Or you were just the puzzle I could never complete, or lost its pieces. And honestly, I am thankful to be a part of your world. Even if I can’t be a part of it anymore, I will just look at you from a distance.

Remember the letters? Somewhere, I filled it with longer, lasting posts, and hoped one day, I would pass it on to our kids. Well, that is a hope not coming true. A tale for another time.

I know you don’t believe me, but still I love to write to you, about you and hoping I struck a chord, in the end, is the best part, you know? But most importantly, I just stand by the door to my heart, waiting for you to knock one more time, so I can peep out, and let your face sink in, once again.

The Monster – That I am. I ruined everything.

 

Gaurav Gupta

Some Times

Some Times, I just imagine you. A beautiful aura inside my head. At Times when I am sad, I see you in people, I try to hear you in a song, and I feel you in the wind as it brushes my hair, and I look at the empty sky.

Some Times, well most of the times, I wonder what went wrong? What separated us into you and me, two different souls. Once inseparable, and now parallel to each other. Never going to end up, together.

Some Times, I write about you. Some Times I write to you, hoping you still read my words, and not scroll down reading my name. I wonder if at all it moves you from the inside, because it moves me, every time. Wonder if you know these are just not fiction, but for you.

Some Times, I wonder, what it would have been? If we would have been together? If all had been worked out by us.

Some Times, I just want to give up. To be gone. To be left alone. To set me free. Isn’t that a good thing? Being myself for once? But I wonder, will I be complete without you?

But I know, someday you will be back, and that’s when I have to be there for you. So Some Times, I just think about those happy days, when we will be together, yet again.

 

P.S – This poem is dedicated to My Girl.

 

Gaurav Gupta

Our Next Meeting

From the morning itself, I had that smile on my face. I don’t know why, but I was happy. Maybe because of nothing or maybe because of what was about to happen in near future.

It was a bright Sunday morning. I was resting on my couch listening to some soft music. Suddenly the door bell rang. I was feeling too lazy to get up and open the door. The doorbell rang again. I was expecting nobody. But still somehow I pull my lazy butt and opened the door.

I was amazed, surprised, happy. I was experiencing all those emotions at the same time.

She was standing right there. In an orange saree. Very light makeup. Hairs did properly, with a red streak of hair just falling over on her eyes. That perfect dimple she had when she smiled. She was smiling seeing me.

I wanted to say “Hi”. But all I could mutter was “WOW”.

Me : How are you?

Oh! I didn’t tell who was at my door. It was My Girl. I don’t know what was the reason of her visit. But she was there to meet me 🙂

My Girl : Hey! I am fine. How are you?

Me : I am good.

Her eyes just glanced into my apartment.

MG : Will you not invite me inside?

Me : Oh! I am sorry. Please come in.

After she came in, got settled on the couch. I straight away went to the kitchen to prepare some tea and get some snacks. I prepared the tea just the way she likes. 2 teaspoons of sugar, 1/2 teaspoon tea. The equal quantity of water and milk.

I served the tea and snacks. She was looking at my apartment. I don’t intend to brag but it is rather clean for a bachelor.

Me : So what’s up? You really surprised me.

MG : Yeah. I was in town. So I thought of visiting you.

I don’t know what to say. I wanted to say, ask so many things in that one moment. I wanted to tell her about my start up. I wanted to tell her how much I love her. I wanted to fight with her for leaving me just like that. I wanted to just hug her in that very moment and never let her go. But all I could say was “Ok”.

While she was sipping the tea she talked about her sister, who was pregnant. Her brother got a new job. And something about her cousins. Yes, she has an annoying number of cousins.

After she finished the tea, suddenly she got up and said: “I better get going”.

I just wanted to stop her and request her not to leave. But all I could manage was a goodbye wave. And just like out of the blue she came and just like that she left. I don’t know the meaning of this visit, but I am happy as I could see her once more.

It was a meeting of many unsaid words and much-unexpressed feelings.

 

Gaurav Gupta