What’s in the Picture

Drunk, she sends me this picture. 3 AM in the cold wintery night My Girl asks me that what this picture means to me. She told me that this picture means a lot to her.

The only answer I had was that “My Girl, you are texting me, sending me pictures, wanting to talk to me. All this while you are drunk. You are thinking of me while you can’t even stand straight. This means that you Love Me.” I Love You too. I too have drunk texted you so many times because I think of you all the time. Because I miss you all the time. I want to be with you all the time. I want to talk to you all the time.

But instead, I say some random stupid stuff about the shoes, about the wine and everything non-important.

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Last night we had a fight. She said she is going out on a weekend trip with a guy and she can’t tell me who it is. I don’t know what’s going on in her mind. Was she just teasing me or did she actually meant it? I was hurt. How can she expect me to be okay with the fact that she will be roaming around with a guy for the whole weekend? I just want to say to her “My Girl, you are mine and you are mine forever. Nobody can take you away from me.”

I was hurt and in that moment I said something to her which I shouldn’t have said. I wanted to hurt her for hurting me. I know it’s wrong and I feel guilty for it. Sorry, My Girl.

I am so Sorry and I am so in Love with You. I am in Love with you Head over Heels. ❤

P.S – I know that she doesn’t read my blogs, but someday down the line, I want my feelings to reach to her via these blogs. Still waiting for you, My Girl. 🙂

 

Gaurav Gupta

 

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One More Time

One More Time I want to See you, to look into those eyes and be lost in them. Want my knees to go weak at your first glance. Want you to see me for who I am. Want to See you.

One More Time I want to Feel you, to touch your soul. To be your whole. To feel the warmth and compassion you have for me. To feel what it likes to be. Want to Feel you.

One More Time I want to Hug you, to bug you. Never want you to leave. Be in my arms always and that hug to never end 🙂 Want to Hug you.

One More Time I want to Love you.

One More Time I want us to be Together, One More Time I want it to be Forever.

One More Time I want to be Not Alone, One More Time I want it to be Regrown.

Can I have that One More Time?

 

Gaurav Gupta

Diary Entry 07.01.2017

Today I had my first guitar class which was not so good. Apparently, my music is not melodious. But my teacher said that “Everybody is not Sachin Tendulkar and can’t score six in the first ball”. He sees potential in me 🙂

Then I had to rush towards the office.

It’s a weekend in Office!!

Yes, Dear Diary, today is Saturday and I am working in the office. From the very beginning, I am feeling sleepy. I reached office around 1 PM and head straight for the lunch. It was a heavy lunch and from that point onwards I am feeling sleepy.

Then the frustrating part was my code wasn’t working. You must be thinking when does my code works 😀

After a while, I thought of having a tea break. While having tea for some reason all those old memories of QUE project came rushing back to me. All those meetings, all those late night coding marathons, my meeting with My Girl over Skype call. All those happy memories made my jaw broadened and lips wide.

I came back with a fabulous coding idea, Implemented it and ‘EUREKA’, my code is working again. Feeling like the king again. My Girl is my lucky charm. Even when she is not physically present with me she is still helping me out by coming to me in my memories and making me happy and a better person.

Dear Diary, I want some day My Girl to read all my blogs and know that my feelings for her are for real and no matter how long it will take for her to change her decision, I will wait for her. She is mine and only mine, for all her lifetime and beyond that in every other life.

And now I am signing off from office with a satisfied end of the day 🙂

Thanks, Dear Diary for listening about my day 🙂

 

Gaurav Gupta

 

 

Happy New Year

After a spending time for a week, it was time for me to say goodbye. This is the part which I hate the most, saying goodbye. The past week has been fun. We had gone out to dinners, gone out on movies, had a really long drive. We also had our pizza night and then pizza fight. Now it’s time to go back to our life’s.

My Girl has to resume work in her London office and I had to be back in Delhi.

Sitting together in the car, outside the airport. The silence prevails. Neither I or My Girl said anything for a while. The thought of being away from My Girl gripped my mind. There were no words coming out of my mouth.

After a while breaking the silence My Girl said “So?”

Me: So?

MG: Don’t worry, I will be back in a couple of months.

I said “Hmm” and my head just dropped down. My eyes were wet. My Girl reached out, with a gentle touch she uplifts my chin. I could see even her eyes were wet. I was just looking in her eyes. So beautiful, so deep. Like they were trying to assure my sinking heart that everything will be fine. We will be together soon.

I just wanted her to stop me from going. I just wanted her to tell me to stay. I just wanted to drop everything and stay with her. I just didn’t want to leave her.

I wanted to sing a song for her.

Like the season’s first snow, you are falling on my heart.

My heart is melting and my world is changing.

But in that moment when I wanted to just encapture all her beauty all I could faintly murmur “I Love You” ❤

We hugged. I felt both of us were just melting in each other’s embrace. Nothing could separate us. I took a bite of her luscious lips. My Girl kissed back. I didn’t want that moment to end. I just wanted to be in her arms forever.

As the time for my flight drew nearer, My Girl drives us to the dropping point. I picked my luggage and got out of car. I hugged her. I hugged her tight, never wanting to let her go. After some time, I kissed her forehead and said the most difficult goodbye.

I said goodbye with a renewed hope that in few months time she will be back and we will be together again.

I Love You.  I miss You. ❤

 

Gaurav Gupta

 

 

Happy Christmas!!

Merry Christmas, I say. Merry Christmas she says. We kissed each other. Holding each other so tightly, never wanting to be apart. We could faintly hear the giggles of the people passing by but we were so engrossed in each other that we didn’t care.

From a long time, I was planning this surprise. On the eve of Christmas, I was there in front of her home in London. I rang the bell. In half sleep, still rubbing her eyes My Girl opened the door. Our eyes meet, our lips broadened and extending our arms we hugged. Even in this cold weather, I was feeling warm. She was happy and surprised at the same time. Her expression was priceless. Her smile was awesome.

She had so many questions. How? When? Why?

All I could mutter was “I Love You” ❤

She hugged me and we kissed.

I couldn’t get enough of her. I was tired and exhausted after travelling 24 hours but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted the ache. I wanted her, all the time. Her weight on top of me. I wanted to squeeze further and further in her. I wanted to watch her face. I wanted her sweat to drop onto me. I wanted to drop mine on her. I got on top of her. I’d never done it before. I couldn’t really believe it, I was doing this. I was inventing something. I held her and put it inside her. I felt deep in her. I’ll never forget it. I was in charge and she liked it. I held her hands down. She pretended she was trying to break free. She let her tits touch my face. She went mad as I bucked. I pushed down. I couldn’t believe it. One of her fingers flicked over my bum. I did it to her. She lifted and heaved. I couldn’t believe it. There was no end to it, no end to the new things. She did something. I copied her. I did something. She did it back. I took her from behind. She pushed back, forced more of her into me. I sucked her. She licked me. She made me come on her stomach. I sucked her toes. The whole room rocked.

Now, here we were in the mall of London. Two souls deeply in love with each other that we don’t care about anyone and just kissing and fondling each other.

I Love You, My Girl. I Love You for the way you smile. I love you for the way you make me feel happy. I Love You because no one can complete me the way you do.

Happy Christmas My Girl. Stay Happy. Stay Smiling 🙂

Gaurav Gupta

Diary Entry 12.12.2016

Dear My Girl

I am sorry, last night I was a bit drunk. I was not able to control myself. I shouldn’t have messaged. I think, I deserved the scolding after that.

I am sorry for hurting you and disappointing you. I didn’t know that I had hurt your parents also. I am sorry for that. You are right, you are raised by a king otherwise, it’s impossible for someone to be so awesome like you.

I would never do anything knowingly to hurt you or to make you sad. If me talking to you or pinging to you make you sad and angry then I promise I will never try to contact you. 😦

Don’t worry My Girl, everything will happen as you want. You want me out of your life then I will kick me out of your life. Just be patient for a while. To continue my punishment I have almost convinced myself that I am not good enough you or for anyone else. Don’t worry the punishment for hurting you will continue for the rest of my life.

Till the time we were together, maybe that was the only love, respect, compassion was meant to be for me in this life. I had my amazing lovely moments with you and love for me is now over. Maybe in some other lifetime, we will be together. I will try and be better for you that time. I just want you to be happy where ever you are.

I am sorry again for hurting you and your loved ones and believe me I will never stop punishing the person who made you cry.

One more day spent lonely, One more week passed in your memories. One more month reliving those happy moments. One more year without you and One more life without Us.

I miss you. I miss Us.

Thank you dear diary for role playing My Girl and listening to me when no one was around. 🙂

 

Gaurav Gupta