What’s in the Picture

Drunk, she sends me this picture. 3 AM in the cold wintery night My Girl asks me that what this picture means to me. She told me that this picture means a lot to her.

The only answer I had was that “My Girl, you are texting me, sending me pictures, wanting to talk to me. All this while you are drunk. You are thinking of me while you can’t even stand straight. This means that you Love Me.” I Love You too. I too have drunk texted you so many times because I think of you all the time. Because I miss you all the time. I want to be with you all the time. I want to talk to you all the time.

But instead, I say some random stupid stuff about the shoes, about the wine and everything non-important.

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Last night we had a fight. She said she is going out on a weekend trip with a guy and she can’t tell me who it is. I don’t know what’s going on in her mind. Was she just teasing me or did she actually meant it? I was hurt. How can she expect me to be okay with the fact that she will be roaming around with a guy for the whole weekend? I just want to say to her “My Girl, you are mine and you are mine forever. Nobody can take you away from me.”

I was hurt and in that moment I said something to her which I shouldn’t have said. I wanted to hurt her for hurting me. I know it’s wrong and I feel guilty for it. Sorry, My Girl.

I am so Sorry and I am so in Love with You. I am in Love with you Head over Heels. ❤

P.S – I know that she doesn’t read my blogs, but someday down the line, I want my feelings to reach to her via these blogs. Still waiting for you, My Girl. 🙂

 

Gaurav Gupta

 

One More Time

One More Time I want to See you, to look into those eyes and be lost in them. Want my knees to go weak at your first glance. Want you to see me for who I am. Want to See you.

One More Time I want to Feel you, to touch your soul. To be your whole. To feel the warmth and compassion you have for me. To feel what it likes to be. Want to Feel you.

One More Time I want to Hug you, to bug you. Never want you to leave. Be in my arms always and that hug to never end 🙂 Want to Hug you.

One More Time I want to Love you.

One More Time I want us to be Together, One More Time I want it to be Forever.

One More Time I want to be Not Alone, One More Time I want it to be Regrown.

Can I have that One More Time?

 

Gaurav Gupta

Happy New Year

After a spending time for a week, it was time for me to say goodbye. This is the part which I hate the most, saying goodbye. The past week has been fun. We had gone out to dinners, gone out on movies, had a really long drive. We also had our pizza night and then pizza fight. Now it’s time to go back to our life’s.

My Girl has to resume work in her London office and I had to be back in Delhi.

Sitting together in the car, outside the airport. The silence prevails. Neither I or My Girl said anything for a while. The thought of being away from My Girl gripped my mind. There were no words coming out of my mouth.

After a while breaking the silence My Girl said “So?”

Me: So?

MG: Don’t worry, I will be back in a couple of months.

I said “Hmm” and my head just dropped down. My eyes were wet. My Girl reached out, with a gentle touch she uplifts my chin. I could see even her eyes were wet. I was just looking in her eyes. So beautiful, so deep. Like they were trying to assure my sinking heart that everything will be fine. We will be together soon.

I just wanted her to stop me from going. I just wanted her to tell me to stay. I just wanted to drop everything and stay with her. I just didn’t want to leave her.

I wanted to sing a song for her.

Like the season’s first snow, you are falling on my heart.

My heart is melting and my world is changing.

But in that moment when I wanted to just encapture all her beauty all I could faintly murmur “I Love You” ❤

We hugged. I felt both of us were just melting in each other’s embrace. Nothing could separate us. I took a bite of her luscious lips. My Girl kissed back. I didn’t want that moment to end. I just wanted to be in her arms forever.

As the time for my flight drew nearer, My Girl drives us to the dropping point. I picked my luggage and got out of car. I hugged her. I hugged her tight, never wanting to let her go. After some time, I kissed her forehead and said the most difficult goodbye.

I said goodbye with a renewed hope that in few months time she will be back and we will be together again.

I Love You.  I miss You. ❤

 

Gaurav Gupta

 

 

Good Morning!

It is another beautiful day in Pangalore. Another beautiful morning. At a distant horizon, the sun is till waking the lazy souls up. There is cold in the air. Not shivering cold but enough to not let go of the blankets.

I somehow pulled myself out from the bed, still half asleep. My phone beeped so did my heart. I knew the message was from my dream girl, who stole my heart and never returned it. Yes, My Girl messaged me Good Morning!. The perfect start of a perfect winter morning.

The phone beeped again, but I was not able to pick it up and reply as I was busy navigating through the morning mad traffic rush through the Pangalore roads.

Though my ears were not in my control, they somehow wanted to hear the voice of My Girl. I still have to drive to work with that constant urge to talk to her. It was a mini battle between heart and mind. Mind saying to continue driving and my mad heart constantly requesting to chat to her. Between all this struggle magic happens. My Girl called. I picked it and my heart took a sigh of relief. I don’t exactly remember what were her first words as I was busy soaking all her voice and replenishing the quenching thirst that I have.

Her voice was a bit bleak as she was still sleepy. Yes, it’s 11.30 AM in Pangalore but in London, it is still 6 AM in the morning.

My Girl: “I miss you a lot.”

Me: “I love you ❤ a lot.”

MG: “I have got my return date.”

Those words were like magic to my ears. I was already daydreaming her in my arms. She continued further.

MG: “The date is two months ahead.”

Though I was happy that she is finally returning but two months is a long time frame. 60 days, 1440 hours how will I spent them without her. Yes, my maths has improved a lot especially the table of 24 as every hour and every second spent without her feels like nearly a century to me.

MG: “You know what happened yesterday. My boss Lucio Pane was flirting with me.”

I felt jealous, possessive, outrageous and felt like hitting that Lucio out of London with a single kick. She continued telling further.

MG: “He was praising me for my work and ethics and dedication and complimented me for my looks.”

Me: “Oh! that’ nice. You are awesome and gorgeous and amazing and beautiful and I am lucky to be your husband.”

MG: “I love you. I love you. I love you ❤ .”

Those three words three times were music to my ears. All the jealousy, outrage just melted away in the symphony of her voice and for a moment I was lost in her thoughts. Thankfully I was at a red light and I got just enough time to savour that moment and lock it in my memories.

MG: “Good Morning husband! Now I have to say goodbye as I have to get ready for office.”

After a moment of silence, I broke it by saying “Good Bye, Love You”.

She sensed that I didn’t want to cut the call. So, she just kissed me over the phone. I wanted to kiss her in real. Feel the warmth of her lips touching mine. Bite her lips naughtily. Have our tounges fighting vigorously inside our mouths.

But with this long distance relationship, I convinced my heart with just a kiss over the phone. I said goodbye to her.

That little conversation and gesture of love in the end of it made sure I had a smile on my face throughout the day. The morning is indeed beautiful.

 

Gaurav Gupta

 

 

Saturday Recap Part – 2

She was there. She was right there in front me. In a gorgeous pink Anarkali. She was looking beautiful and that smile on her face was making me feel overjoyed. I was looking at her. Those big eyes, those beautiful cheeks!! And I wish it’s only me fitting in them. My eyes were dancing to her lips, the more they broadened more they shined and this mad urge of hugging her was getting on me.

She was standing right behind me. My heart was racing faster than a cheetah. I turned back, she looked at me, our eyes met. That very moment I wanted the sands of time to just stop. I wanted that moment to never pass. I could spend all my life looking into those beautiful eyes. I gesture her to come and sit beside me. She obliged. She came and sit right beside me. It felt that we were never apart. We were always together. I wanted to ask why was she late. But all I could mutter was “How are you?”. With a smile on her face, she replied. I was too busy capturing those moments that I didn’t hear what she said. And at that moment I was wondering if its still a dream, or the girl in my imagination is shining for real, I was smiling from within, for the first time in last 293 days I was smiling and I was smiling because I was in love with her. The bride and the groom were dazzling in their attire and my eyes were fixed on her. The photographer was trying to capture all the candid expressions around and I wished I had my DSLR too, I would have captured her all the while, she took my breath away, I still fail to understand how does she do it but she does it every single time!! I felt like a marathon runner who had been running for 7032 hours to see her this way, sitting next to me, chattering and me watching her lips moving, her eyes expanding, her hands dancing in air and her cheeks blushing (with my look I believe ) and shining with that reflection of lights around. I could feel that fulfilling sensation inside me, like I had been thirsty for ages and a part of me just wanted to sleep in her laps and take a nap and recover from the slumberless nights, a part of me wanted to just keep my eyes open and watch her without blinking. I know it might sound silly and absurd but the glimpse was like magic and everything just felt like where we had left, like nothing changed, all anguish, all pain, and all the distance suddenly became like a drop in our ocean of love and that was the moment, “She and Me”, right next to each other and everything else was just immaterial.

I wanted to spend all the time I could with her and she made me confident with a “yes” when I asked her to get clicked with a couple of the evening(if you ask me I considered us ). After a few flashlights here and there with real smiles (I knew we both had real smiles, alright mine was 100% real) we went for dinner.

I was not really hungry, in the excitement to meet her I don’t know since when did I actually had not been in a position to engulf anything down my throat. I wasn’t exactly sure if I was hungry for real but I began filling my plate with everything my girl took, I like what she took or not didn’t matter, all I wanted to tell her was I am all hers, willing to do anything she wants me to. And then when my plate was full I wasn’t eating. How could I eat? The moment I took the first bite a fear hovered around my brain and it signalled “she would leave as soon as you finish the dinner” and the part in me who suddenly developed an appetite for food after seeing her was badly shrugged by my brain and then suddenly I actually couldn’t eat anything. And then when I suddenly planned to slow my meal she smiled at me and inquired why am I not eating and the appetite part came up from within yet again on the surface but this time no one signaled it to eat slowly, everything inside me was syncing suddenly, all the scattered parts here and there felt like were collected by her and sewed as one and all of them just wanted the time to freeze or maybe get a time machine and turn time back to 2015 when we both were together!!

While we were sitting together and having the dinner I was looking at her.

My Girl: “So what’s your plan for tonight. When is your flight back to Delhi?”

Me: “My plan is whatever you decide.”

My Girl: “How can I tell your plan? It’s your plan you tell.”

Me: “The person I want to go out with doesn’t want to go out with me”. I wanted to ask her for me to stay and I would never go back.

My Girl: “Then find someone else to hang out with”. She was pushing me away in literal terms.

Me: “I am too lazy for that. I have found the person whom I want to be together with and I am just waiting for her to realize this”.

Meanwhile the idea of slowing the meal worked and then when I insisted on gifting her souvenirs I got for her, she smiled to agree in acceptance. My bag was lying in brides room. And we went downstairs to get it. The moment I unlocked the door post knocking I went into a room full of flashy sarees, and gajra scented ladies who all suddenly stopped looking and every head in whichever direction it was pointing previously were now looking at me. I got out the same way I got in, an impromptu reaction and I asked her if it was okay with her to go in and get the bag. “The purple bag you brought last time?” she said . “She remembers the color of my bag!” I smile to myself but that was not the one, She brought the bag out, and she smiled. So did I.

The sand wasn’t slowing its course from the hourglass, And she was fiddling the OLA app on her phone to book a cab way home, she cancelled one when I insisted and then finally booked another one. Suddenly that restless phase was coming back, I couldn’t breathe, I stand. I wanted to hug her tight, I wanted her to hold me in her arms and just let me hold her back, it felt I was shivering inside, shivering very bad, I wanted to cry, I actually wanted to hold back my tears for it just felt I would drop them any moment and just when I couldn’t handle myself anymore I asked her if I could her hug and she allowed me once again that evening. Another “Yes” and all the willingness suddenly converted to silence when I once again asked her to be mine, stop me here and jut not leave me midway in that night. She had her set of advice and I replied with my determination to wait till eternity and I know I would. She waved at me when she sat in the car and smiled, not once but thrice and just like that my night suddenly became devoid of the moon, for my moon just took all the halo away with her.

And I stood there, still smelling her perfume on sleeves of my shirt, still feeling that warmth of her hug, still believing someday somewhere in these bylanes of Bangalore she would be running towards me in my arms and probably till then I need to live however hard, painful deplorable it be, I will sustain it all because “I Love You” ❤

 

Gaurav Gupta

I LOVE You, My Girl

Oh, MY Girl, I LOVE You. You make me smile
Oh, MY Girl, I LOVE You. You make me happy
Oh, MY Girl, I LOVE You. I want to write the poem for you.
Which I don’t know how to do.

Sorry for the lack of rhythm or analogies or metaphors in this poem, which will blow your mind away.
This poem or lack of poem is my way to tell you that I love you.
I will Love you till the end of my time on this planet.

Your smile makes me smile, your tears make me cry.
Your acceptance makes me mad, Your ignorance made me sad.

Oh, My Girl My Girl doesn’t leave me now.
Come back to me and let us take a vow.

We will be always together no matter what happens,
will lift each other up when one of us is dampened

Oh, I Love you ❤   I Love You ❤  I Love You ❤

Forever yours

 

Gaurav Gupta

No No No No

As you all know My Girl has gone for a business trip to London, therefore we are on skype most of the time to be with each other. God bless the person who invented video calls. I am not physically with My Girl but she still feels to be with me when we are on skype.

Last night after 3 hours of skype:

Me : So?

My Girl : Good night 🙂

Me : No, let’s talk some more time.

MG : No, let’s cut the call.

Me : You cut the call.

MG : No, you cut the call.

Me : Don’t cut the call. 😛

Giggles all over the call. She kept on saying bye in her sweet voice and kept on saying no. We didn’t cut the call for another hour. Don’t know when she dozed off listening to me chatter.

I also don’t remember when I fell to sleep. When I woke up, the call was still ON. I said “Hello”. My Girl in a fruity voice replied “Good Morning”.

Giggles all over the call again. After chatting for another half an hour we finally said goodbye.

Oh! I just love her voice. It turns my bad day into a good day. It gives me joy, happiness, pleasure all at the same time. I think I can’t survive without listening to her voice.

P.S – I just love My Girl’s voice 🙂

 

Gaurav Gupta