Diary Entry 23.07.2017

I can’t seem to get these lines of a song out of my head.

When I close my eyes. You’re here by my side
Oh, when I close my eyes. You’re here by my side.

All I ever really need is your love. Nothing I could say would ever be enough.

Stay a little longer with me, baby! Won’t you stay a little longer with me!

Though I am happy most of the time as I don’t require her to be physically present with me. I can love her without her being with me. But sometimes I become so weak and my resolve just breaks. All I want to do is tell her how I feel. The lines from song tell exactly how I feel.

In those weak moments, you become my Saviour dear diary. Thank you for helping me keep my promise 🙂

 

Gaurav Gupta

 

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What do I want to do

What do I want to do is lay my head in your lap and sleep like a child. Because with you I feel safe, I feel everything is alright.

What do I want to do is play with hairs for hours. They are perfect just like you.

What do I want to do is lay with you under open sky counting stars and talking my heart out. Because with you I can be myself.

What do I want to do is to know you more. I want to spend rest of my breaths unravelling the mystery that is you.

What do I want to do is not to share you with anyone. I want to spend all my time with you because one life time is not enough.

What do I want to do is live this adventure called life with you. Together Forever. ❤

My Girl, I Love You and I need you. ❤ Please come back.

 

Gaurav Gupta

 

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yesterday was my 26th Birthday! Happy Birthday to Me! Happy Birthday to Me! Happy Birthday, Dear Gaurav! Happy Birthday to Me!

Nobody wished me on my birthday, except for my family. Also, the call I was waiting for the most didn’t come.

Did My Girl forget my birthday? Is she even thinking about me?

I don’t know the answers to these questions, all I know is it’s My Birthday and I am happy and enjoying it.

Happy Birthday to Me!!

 

Gaurav Gupta

Current State

So, have I given up on love? No, but I won’t be the one coming forward with it, chasing you and making all the efforts.

I will just sit pretty and content being single in my joyous zone. If you find me worthy enough, then go ahead and say it to me. But don’t expect me to play the games of hints and silences.

I am done with that circus. You want to be subtle about love? Well, then say – I Love You, at the very least, because nothing less clear will do it for me now.

I am done with the waiting, supposedly romantic, part of love. Just hit me with your love on my face, screaming my name with your blaring tongue, madly in love with me, else – just stay away.

 

Gaurav Gupta

One More Time

One More Time I want to See you, to look into those eyes and be lost in them. Want my knees to go weak at your first glance. Want you to see me for who I am. Want to See you.

One More Time I want to Feel you, to touch your soul. To be your whole. To feel the warmth and compassion you have for me. To feel what it likes to be. Want to Feel you.

One More Time I want to Hug you, to bug you. Never want you to leave. Be in my arms always and that hug to never end 🙂 Want to Hug you.

One More Time I want to Love you.

One More Time I want us to be Together, One More Time I want it to be Forever.

One More Time I want to be Not Alone, One More Time I want it to be Regrown.

Can I have that One More Time?

 

Gaurav Gupta

Happy New Year

After a spending time for a week, it was time for me to say goodbye. This is the part which I hate the most, saying goodbye. The past week has been fun. We had gone out to dinners, gone out on movies, had a really long drive. We also had our pizza night and then pizza fight. Now it’s time to go back to our life’s.

My Girl has to resume work in her London office and I had to be back in Delhi.

Sitting together in the car, outside the airport. The silence prevails. Neither I or My Girl said anything for a while. The thought of being away from My Girl gripped my mind. There were no words coming out of my mouth.

After a while breaking the silence My Girl said “So?”

Me: So?

MG: Don’t worry, I will be back in a couple of months.

I said “Hmm” and my head just dropped down. My eyes were wet. My Girl reached out, with a gentle touch she uplifts my chin. I could see even her eyes were wet. I was just looking in her eyes. So beautiful, so deep. Like they were trying to assure my sinking heart that everything will be fine. We will be together soon.

I just wanted her to stop me from going. I just wanted her to tell me to stay. I just wanted to drop everything and stay with her. I just didn’t want to leave her.

I wanted to sing a song for her.

Like the season’s first snow, you are falling on my heart.

My heart is melting and my world is changing.

But in that moment when I wanted to just encapture all her beauty all I could faintly murmur “I Love You” ❤

We hugged. I felt both of us were just melting in each other’s embrace. Nothing could separate us. I took a bite of her luscious lips. My Girl kissed back. I didn’t want that moment to end. I just wanted to be in her arms forever.

As the time for my flight drew nearer, My Girl drives us to the dropping point. I picked my luggage and got out of car. I hugged her. I hugged her tight, never wanting to let her go. After some time, I kissed her forehead and said the most difficult goodbye.

I said goodbye with a renewed hope that in few months time she will be back and we will be together again.

I Love You.  I miss You. ❤

 

Gaurav Gupta