Me

When you don’t have anyone around to love you the way you want.

Then, you learn to love yourself.

Yes, I am self-obsessed, self-centered and selfish.

 

Gaurav Gupta

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Diary Entry 12.08.2017

There are times when you miss someone so badly that you want to take them out from your fantasy land and hug them tightly for real.

Your lives just stop without them, however hard you try to run away from memories you keep on getting closer to them.

You realize it’s love when all you can think about is that one person.

I am missing you, My Girl. I hope you do too.

 

Gaurav Gupta

Diary Entry 23.07.2017

I can’t seem to get these lines of a song out of my head.

When I close my eyes. You’re here by my side
Oh, when I close my eyes. You’re here by my side.

All I ever really need is your love. Nothing I could say would ever be enough.

Stay a little longer with me, baby! Won’t you stay a little longer with me!

Though I am happy most of the time as I don’t require her to be physically present with me. I can love her without her being with me. But sometimes I become so weak and my resolve just breaks. All I want to do is tell her how I feel. The lines from song tell exactly how I feel.

In those weak moments, you become my Saviour dear diary. Thank you for helping me keep my promise 🙂

 

Gaurav Gupta

 

What’s in the Picture

Drunk, she sends me this picture. 3 AM in the cold wintery night My Girl asks me that what this picture means to me. She told me that this picture means a lot to her.

The only answer I had was that “My Girl, you are texting me, sending me pictures, wanting to talk to me. All this while you are drunk. You are thinking of me while you can’t even stand straight. This means that you Love Me.” I Love You too. I too have drunk texted you so many times because I think of you all the time. Because I miss you all the time. I want to be with you all the time. I want to talk to you all the time.

But instead, I say some random stupid stuff about the shoes, about the wine and everything non-important.

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Last night we had a fight. She said she is going out on a weekend trip with a guy and she can’t tell me who it is. I don’t know what’s going on in her mind. Was she just teasing me or did she actually meant it? I was hurt. How can she expect me to be okay with the fact that she will be roaming around with a guy for the whole weekend? I just want to say to her “My Girl, you are mine and you are mine forever. Nobody can take you away from me.”

I was hurt and in that moment I said something to her which I shouldn’t have said. I wanted to hurt her for hurting me. I know it’s wrong and I feel guilty for it. Sorry, My Girl.

I am so Sorry and I am so in Love with You. I am in Love with you Head over Heels. ❤

P.S – I know that she doesn’t read my blogs, but someday down the line, I want my feelings to reach to her via these blogs. Still waiting for you, My Girl. 🙂

 

Gaurav Gupta

 

One More Time

One More Time I want to See you, to look into those eyes and be lost in them. Want my knees to go weak at your first glance. Want you to see me for who I am. Want to See you.

One More Time I want to Feel you, to touch your soul. To be your whole. To feel the warmth and compassion you have for me. To feel what it likes to be. Want to Feel you.

One More Time I want to Hug you, to bug you. Never want you to leave. Be in my arms always and that hug to never end 🙂 Want to Hug you.

One More Time I want to Love you.

One More Time I want us to be Together, One More Time I want it to be Forever.

One More Time I want to be Not Alone, One More Time I want it to be Regrown.

Can I have that One More Time?

 

Gaurav Gupta

Happy New Year

After a spending time for a week, it was time for me to say goodbye. This is the part which I hate the most, saying goodbye. The past week has been fun. We had gone out to dinners, gone out on movies, had a really long drive. We also had our pizza night and then pizza fight. Now it’s time to go back to our life’s.

My Girl has to resume work in her London office and I had to be back in Delhi.

Sitting together in the car, outside the airport. The silence prevails. Neither I or My Girl said anything for a while. The thought of being away from My Girl gripped my mind. There were no words coming out of my mouth.

After a while breaking the silence My Girl said “So?”

Me: So?

MG: Don’t worry, I will be back in a couple of months.

I said “Hmm” and my head just dropped down. My eyes were wet. My Girl reached out, with a gentle touch she uplifts my chin. I could see even her eyes were wet. I was just looking in her eyes. So beautiful, so deep. Like they were trying to assure my sinking heart that everything will be fine. We will be together soon.

I just wanted her to stop me from going. I just wanted her to tell me to stay. I just wanted to drop everything and stay with her. I just didn’t want to leave her.

I wanted to sing a song for her.

Like the season’s first snow, you are falling on my heart.

My heart is melting and my world is changing.

But in that moment when I wanted to just encapture all her beauty all I could faintly murmur “I Love You” ❤

We hugged. I felt both of us were just melting in each other’s embrace. Nothing could separate us. I took a bite of her luscious lips. My Girl kissed back. I didn’t want that moment to end. I just wanted to be in her arms forever.

As the time for my flight drew nearer, My Girl drives us to the dropping point. I picked my luggage and got out of car. I hugged her. I hugged her tight, never wanting to let her go. After some time, I kissed her forehead and said the most difficult goodbye.

I said goodbye with a renewed hope that in few months time she will be back and we will be together again.

I Love You.  I miss You. ❤

 

Gaurav Gupta