She was there. She was right there in front me. In a gorgeous pink Anarkali. She was looking beautiful and that smile on her face was making me feel overjoyed. I was looking at her. Those big eyes, those beautiful cheeks!! And I wish it’s only me fitting in them. My eyes were dancing to her lips, the more they broadened more they shined and this mad urge of hugging her was getting on me.
She was standing right behind me. My heart was racing faster than a cheetah. I turned back, she looked at me, our eyes met. That very moment I wanted the sands of time to just stop. I wanted that moment to never pass. I could spend all my life looking into those beautiful eyes. I gesture her to come and sit beside me. She obliged. She came and sit right beside me. It felt that we were never apart. We were always together. I wanted to ask why was she late. But all I could mutter was “How are you?”. With a smile on her face, she replied. I was too busy capturing those moments that I didn’t hear what she said. And at that moment I was wondering if its still a dream, or the girl in my imagination is shining for real, I was smiling from within, for the first time in last 293 days I was smiling and I was smiling because I was in love with her. The bride and the groom were dazzling in their attire and my eyes were fixed on her. The photographer was trying to capture all the candid expressions around and I wished I had my DSLR too, I would have captured her all the while, she took my breath away, I still fail to understand how does she do it but she does it every single time!! I felt like a marathon runner who had been running for 7032 hours to see her this way, sitting next to me, chattering and me watching her lips moving, her eyes expanding, her hands dancing in air and her cheeks blushing (with my look I believe ) and shining with that reflection of lights around. I could feel that fulfilling sensation inside me, like I had been thirsty for ages and a part of me just wanted to sleep in her laps and take a nap and recover from the slumberless nights, a part of me wanted to just keep my eyes open and watch her without blinking. I know it might sound silly and absurd but the glimpse was like magic and everything just felt like where we had left, like nothing changed, all anguish, all pain, and all the distance suddenly became like a drop in our ocean of love and that was the moment, “She and Me”, right next to each other and everything else was just immaterial.
I wanted to spend all the time I could with her and she made me confident with a “yes” when I asked her to get clicked with a couple of the evening(if you ask me I considered us ). After a few flashlights here and there with real smiles (I knew we both had real smiles, alright mine was 100% real) we went for dinner.
I was not really hungry, in the excitement to meet her I don’t know since when did I actually had not been in a position to engulf anything down my throat. I wasn’t exactly sure if I was hungry for real but I began filling my plate with everything my girl took, I like what she took or not didn’t matter, all I wanted to tell her was I am all hers, willing to do anything she wants me to. And then when my plate was full I wasn’t eating. How could I eat? The moment I took the first bite a fear hovered around my brain and it signalled “she would leave as soon as you finish the dinner” and the part in me who suddenly developed an appetite for food after seeing her was badly shrugged by my brain and then suddenly I actually couldn’t eat anything. And then when I suddenly planned to slow my meal she smiled at me and inquired why am I not eating and the appetite part came up from within yet again on the surface but this time no one signaled it to eat slowly, everything inside me was syncing suddenly, all the scattered parts here and there felt like were collected by her and sewed as one and all of them just wanted the time to freeze or maybe get a time machine and turn time back to 2015 when we both were together!!
While we were sitting together and having the dinner I was looking at her.
My Girl: “So what’s your plan for tonight. When is your flight back to Delhi?”
Me: “My plan is whatever you decide.”
My Girl: “How can I tell your plan? It’s your plan you tell.”
Me: “The person I want to go out with doesn’t want to go out with me”. I wanted to ask her for me to stay and I would never go back.
My Girl: “Then find someone else to hang out with”. She was pushing me away in literal terms.
Me: “I am too lazy for that. I have found the person whom I want to be together with and I am just waiting for her to realize this”.
Meanwhile the idea of slowing the meal worked and then when I insisted on gifting her souvenirs I got for her, she smiled to agree in acceptance. My bag was lying in brides room. And we went downstairs to get it. The moment I unlocked the door post knocking I went into a room full of flashy sarees, and gajra scented ladies who all suddenly stopped looking and every head in whichever direction it was pointing previously were now looking at me. I got out the same way I got in, an impromptu reaction and I asked her if it was okay with her to go in and get the bag. “The purple bag you brought last time?” she said . “She remembers the color of my bag!” I smile to myself but that was not the one, She brought the bag out, and she smiled. So did I.
The sand wasn’t slowing its course from the hourglass, And she was fiddling the OLA app on her phone to book a cab way home, she cancelled one when I insisted and then finally booked another one. Suddenly that restless phase was coming back, I couldn’t breathe, I stand. I wanted to hug her tight, I wanted her to hold me in her arms and just let me hold her back, it felt I was shivering inside, shivering very bad, I wanted to cry, I actually wanted to hold back my tears for it just felt I would drop them any moment and just when I couldn’t handle myself anymore I asked her if I could her hug and she allowed me once again that evening. Another “Yes” and all the willingness suddenly converted to silence when I once again asked her to be mine, stop me here and jut not leave me midway in that night. She had her set of advice and I replied with my determination to wait till eternity and I know I would. She waved at me when she sat in the car and smiled, not once but thrice and just like that my night suddenly became devoid of the moon, for my moon just took all the halo away with her.
And I stood there, still smelling her perfume on sleeves of my shirt, still feeling that warmth of her hug, still believing someday somewhere in these bylanes of Bangalore she would be running towards me in my arms and probably till then I need to live however hard, painful deplorable it be, I will sustain it all because “I Love You” ❤